Giving the Present a Chance
Sun's Flight
"I carried a bucket of sunshine
into the kitchen this morning.
How could I have missed such pleasure such magic all these years?
What's free is generous like the daily feathers I've been receiving.
I could say finding but they are not lost
they are the shed offerings that lift into heaven from earth.
With lightness of being
I want to remember.”
–Valerie A. Szarek
December Greetings! I hope this new month is treating you gently!
This time of year can often feel bittersweet for me. Anticipation of all that I see on the horizon in the new year gets coupled with a personal review what has been, and creates an internal environment filled with emotional energy in motion. This time evokes and illuminates different parts of myself and patterns that might not typically come to the surface. I'm finding it a potent time as I become more and more conscious in my life and am making peace with a lot of my shadows.
A couple of weeks ago I was settling into the evening with Jason and began to get nervous and anxious. I engaged my methodical internal review, running through all the things I can be / should be anxious about. Jason must have sensed my energetic shift and asked what was going on. I proceeded to tell him how I was getting waves of anxiety, and instead of asking why, he said, “Because everything is okay?” Those few words struck a chord. It brought to light a pattern that had been in the shadow.
Intellectual I know my pattern is to search for worry. My mind and soul tends to live and process very quickly. I often find myself operating in a projected future of emotion, a state that hasn’t occurred yet and perhaps never will as, in each moment, there’s opportunity for new choice. This leaves my emotional attention out of present time and drains my vitality. It keeps my nervous system wired. It's a state of being that's planted in the past, receiving notes from the future, and missing the present.
I’m starting to take deeper ownership that I have to put conscious work into choosing the present, choosing current time. This choice is asking my soul to let go of some fundamental personal patterns and practiced coping mechanisms. This evolution has been both liberating and bittersweet because these ways of being have sustained me like old friends. And so I’m walking through this month practicing a new commitment to being present.
What has this month been showing you? Are you noticing some old patterns of being? Are you ready to choose something new? I'd love to hear from you! Drop me an email!
Much love to you and your spirit,
Sara
Link to the full post ~